Are You Letting Unforgiveness Make You Sick?

Unforgiveness can make you sick in heart, sick in mind, and sick in body. Allowing unforgiveness a foothold is like planting the most poison, invasive, destructive weed in your watermelon patch. The expectation of wonderfully fragrant sweet watermelon with delicious red fruit at the end of the season is still there. However the yield of sweet watermelons will not be. The poison, invasive, destruction of the unforgiveness weed will choke out any chance of healthy, sweet watermelon growth. Consequently, the fruit that grows will be blighted with poison and bitterness. Unforgiveness rooted in your heart has been clinically proven to make you sick. Are you letting unforgiveness make you sick?

Taking Offense

We’ve all been there. A trusted friend betrayed us. Our family treated us unfairly. Untrue rumors were circulated about us. A past mistake is constantly being gossiped about and no one will let you live it down. When offenses happen the hurt runs deep like roots searching out water in the soil of our heart. It is tempting to allow them to take root or even to think of revenge. Anger, bitterness, hurt, sadness, depression, and hatred are the fruit of unforgiveness. Make no doubt, harboring unforgiveness will make you sick. Unforgiveness will make our hearts, minds, and bodies sick until we learn how to forgive. Then and only then will we be able to get our peace and health back.

The Price Of Unforgiveness

God’s Word says, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” (Romans 12:19 KJV) In addition to that, the Bible states in Matthew 6:14 (KJV), “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” That is enough to make me sick in itself. I need God’s forgiveness everyday. I cannot afford NOT to forgive. Unforgiveness not only wreaks havoc in your mind, emotions, and body but has eternally lasting ramifications. I want God’s forgiveness even when I don’t deserve it. For forgiveness to be freely given to me I have to freely forgive others. Even if they have majorly hurt me.

Learned Behaviors

I had quite a time with the idea of forgiving when I was younger. We didn’t exactly practice God’s Word in our family. In fact, my siblings did (and still sometimes do) hold grudges. We didn’t exact physical revenge every time on the other person. However, there was always some kind of verbal or emotional price to pay. Maybe just perpetual silence AKA The Silent Treatment. Maybe some snide remarks were thrown out at the offender usually under the guise of sarcasm and humor. Unfortunately, bitterness from many offenses can still be seen from my younger years even to this day. Some offenses were never dealt with God’s way. Unforgiveness robbed us of close adult relationships. That is a pretty steep price. Many have paid it. Dysfunctional families and relationships greedily feed on offense and unforgiveness.

UN-forgiveness Is UN-healthy

Unforgiveness creates an atmosphere of perpetual tension and emotional strife that short circuits our body’s internal repair system. Unforgiveness blocks the ability for our body to heal normally. Headaches, increased inflammation, and the overproduction of cortisol – our body’s stress hormone are just a few symptoms. Unforgiveness makes you sick. Relationships are sabotaged when unforgiveness has rooted. Bitterness becomes the focal lens through which we judge others. Likewise, bitterness acts as a protection mechanism allowing dislike or even hate to be manifested. The mental, physical, and emotional cost of unforgiveness is just a price I am no longer willing to pay. There is enough stress in my life to deal with without carrying around yesterday’s offenses on top of it. I refuse to choose unhealthy avenues to live by.

So, What Do You Do About The Unforgiveness In Your Life?

Here are 8 effective steps to learn and practice forgiveness.

• Identify any past offenses that you are bitter over or are harboring unforgiveness toward someone.
• Use God’s Word as a reminder. Forgive in order for your mistakes and offenses to be forgiven by God and others.
• Choose to forgive instead of harboring unforgiveness and bitterness.
• Remind yourself that you have forgiven the offender. Pray and ask for God to remove the stinger from any and all offenses. Do this every time the pain of the offense is felt until you can no longer feel the hurt. Repeat every time you catch yourself remembering the offense.
• Realize that forgiveness doesn’t ever justify or condone the offense committed toward you. It just allows you to be free from the pain and suffering that the offense caused.
• Allow God’s vengeance to be given in His time frame. It will most surely come to pass if the offender does not choose to repent himself.
• Forgiveness doesn’t always mean that the relationship will be fully restored. Reconciliation is possible but never in circumstances of abuse. In those cases, forgive, allow yourself to heal, and set boundaries to protect and limit any future interaction.
• Forgive so that your prayers are not hindered.

Final Thoughts On Forgiveness

Forgiveness or unforgiveness cannot change what happened in the past. The memory will always be there. However, operating in either will effectively change future interactions for the better or worse. This includes eternity. Unforgiveness robs us of today’s peace, healthy relationships, physical health, mental health, emotional health, and jeopardizes our eternity with God. Who has time for any of that? Who can afford to hold onto any offense? Can you? Are you willing to pay the final price of unforgiveness? Not me!

Making peace with past events includes learning from painful experiences. After we have truly forgiven an offense, we free ourselves from the snare and bait the true enemy sets out for all mankind. We may even see our own shortcomings throughout the process. Forgiveness frees us of pride and humbles us to be able to ask for forgiveness for some of our own hurtful actions toward others. We are all in this life together, offending and being offended. Whether intentional or unintentional there are plenty of opportunities to harbor unforgiveness or walk in forgiveness. No one is exempt from learning the lesson. Finally sisters… do not let unforgiveness make your body, mind, or emotions sick any longer! Begin to forgive today and receive your healing as God intended!