7 Reasons To Forgive When It Isn’t Easy To Do

It was very difficult for me to forgive anyone before I became a Christian. I had several misconceptions about what forgiveness actually was. The peace I gained from being willing to learn about forgiveness and how to apply it is incredible. Martin Luther King Jr. spoke the following two inspirational quotes: “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude,” and “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.” These two statements are powerful reminders for why we should employ the 7 reasons to forgive listed below.

For Spiritual Peace and Right Standing With God

God commands us in His word to forgive. The Bible states, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses,” Matthew 6:14-15 (KJV). Ask yourself this question, “Is harboring unforgiveness worth the price of your wrongdoings not being forgiven? Do you want to miss out on heaven?” It seems like a pretty hefty price for holding onto past hurts and anger to me. This truth was the catalyst that opened the door for me to be able to begin forgiving others.

For Emotional Peace

 When someone has hurt me in an undeserved way it is easy to take offense.  The scenario replays over and over in my mind, compelling me to whine about it making it even bigger to deal with.   Ephesians 4:26 (KJV) encourages us to deal with those emotions swiftly saying, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” One day or less to let go of our anger depending on the time of the offense….really Lord?  Why are we tempted to hold onto and nurse those feelings a little longer?  God’s word is pretty clear though, deal with it “before the sun goes down.”  That offense can keep you awake all night. Don’t allow the enemy to take up emotional real estate in your heart by delaying the process. Begin forgiving the transgression committed against you immediately.

For Control

Forgiving is an act of the will. Corrie Ten Boom, a Holocaust survivor, states it this way,” Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” You control your will to override your emotions. You cannot control the other person or what they did to you. You can, however, control how you respond. Admit to God that you are wounded and angry. 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Take those repeating thoughts captive. Be willing to forgive. Pray for help to accomplish it. Redirect your will and thoughts to that effort and regain what you can control.

For Truth

Apply Biblical scripture and wisdom in the forgiving process. John 8:32 (KJV) is clear, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Pray and ask God to reveal the truth of the matter. Pretensions and falsehoods cannot stand in the presence of truth. Override those emotions, thoughts, and any untrue opinion with the truth. When we choose to apply God’s commands to forgive, He will gladly help us discover the total truth in the matter to become free.

For Healing

We make ourselves physically ill by holding unforgiveness in our hearts. Our digestive, cardiac, and respiratory systems suffer. Unresolved contentions cause stress, headaches, and sleep disruptions. It is curative and very powerful to our own physical bodies to forgive. Inflammation risk factors for heart attacks, cancer, and strokes are lowered by forgiving. Nelson Mandella is known for his famous statement,” Resentment (unforgiveness) is like drinking poison and hoping it’ll kill your enemies.” Likewise, withholding forgiveness is like holding onto something corrosive inside yourself. Your own physical, mental, and emotional healing is a great reason to forgive.

For Reconciliation

Reconciliation is critical for marriages and long-standing relationships. Agreement to forgive and be reconciled is required by both people. Then friendship continues, hopefully with some valuable lessons and growth gained. Not every friendship moves forward even after you have forgiven that person. When trust has been unequivocally broken, it is very difficult, if not impossible to repair. The severity of the harm done will determine whether it is wise to continue any future interaction. In most cases, forgiveness deepens the appreciation and maturity of lasting alliances.

For Freedom

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is debilitating. However, symptoms can range in severity much like the incidents that caused the initial trauma. Forgiveness is an effective tool in overcoming PTSD. It reduces anxiety, fear, and anger and is a positive step toward healing. Forgiving empowers survivors but it takes time to overcome completely. Self-protecting efforts can project guilt onto the innocent in expectation of a repeat performance. Past trauma can create major relational disconnects to protect ourselves. Nelson Mandela wisely said, “Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. It is such a powerful weapon.” To have freedom from sabotaging future relations we need the power of forgiveness in our life.

To Conclude

Are you ready to forgive? How do you go about doing it? Start with the decision to forgive. A simple prayer stating your willingness to follow through with God’s command and a request for help in doing so will ensure success. Vocalize aloud, “I forgive you (name) for (transgression against you),” every time you feel any angst when the person or subject comes up. To forgive doesn’t mean you will forget the incident. However, it will free you from the pain, entangling negative emotions, and harmful thoughts concerning it. You will know that you have truly forgiven when the mention of it no longer brings in a mental or emotional tirade. The more you practice these 7 reasons for forgiving, the better you will become at it and the greater your peace in life will be.